Sunday, November 28, 2010

Beautiful to Him

It's been a while since a boy made me feel insecure about my weight...Maybe this is why it caught me off guard tonight when a complete stranger made me feel lower than I have in a long time.
So I'm driving to a movie with my friend as she was trying to give her brother directions to meet us there. She needed to give him something he left at home over the weekend. Then she suddenly puts him on speaker phone (I'm not exactly sure why she did, but the point is that I could hear everything he was saying) So he catches on to the fact that she's with someone, and asks who it is. She replied with a simple, "Oh that's Shaela, one of the girls I went to that Hotel Party with last week, remember? I showed you pictures.." and he responds "Oh the chunker?"
Yep, the chunker. It's kind of funny though because earlier today, a co worker told me that I look like I've lost weight, so I wasn't expecting that to happen.
I don't know why I let that get to me. In that moment I just brushed it off, but during the movie, I shed a few tears thinking about it. But I'm not going to let some punk from Illinois tell me that I'm not good enough. I don't want to be attractive to that kind of guy anyway. I'm sure he has a good heart and all that crap we're supposed to say about people we don't really know, But he's shallower that my bathroom sink, and I could care less if he doesn't find me attractive.

Look, I don't know if anyone even reads this blog, I'm sure no one has much of a reason to. But I just wanted to make this known maybe to myself more than anyone...I AM A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER OF GOD, AND HE LOVES ME!
I don't need to be a size 4 in order to be loved, plenty of people in this world aren't and they are perfectly happy. I realize that I am curvey, maybe even fat in some peoples eyes, But not in Gods eyes. He thinks that I am beautiful, and that's all I want to be, is Beautiful to Him.