The true meaning of Christmas

This Christmas was one of the best I've had so far.

My funds have been super lacking so I didn't have much money to spend on gifts.

I was feeling badly about this, when my bbff Jeanie called me up asking if I wanted to go to a discount book store with her to get gifts for people. I jumped at the invite because 1) we don't get to hand out much anymore and 2) because I needed to get something for people in my life.

So we went there and only a few books really popped out at me. One was a Mother Goose book that reminded me of my child hood. I got this for Amber because she loves Mother Goose, and has another book of her stories, (this was an ABC book). She opened it Christmas morning and LOVED it! So I was really happy about this.

Another was a book of old short songs that I got for my dad. He loves that sort of thing and the minute I saw it I knew it was for him. I didn't really recognize a lot of the songs in it, but there were some like "My Bonnie" and "Sipping Cider through a straw" that my dad sang to us when we were kids. My mom later came up to me and informed me that mine was his favorite gift. That made me so happy because he is such a hard person to find gifts for!

Attached to every one's gifts was a personalized hand written letter to the members of my family. The reason I did this was because I didn't feel like Micheal's (my brother in law) gift was very personalized. His letter was pretty long, and VERY heart felt. I told him about how I love having him as a big brother, and that he's such a good example to me of so many things. I got all mushy-gushy on him and he love it! He bragged to Amber saying that his was longer than hers.. whatever, but it was fun! I felt like this Christmas wasn't as materialistic as others have been.

I took time to really put thought into the gifts I gave people, and to be honest, you can't beat the fact that I got everything for less than $20! (for 8 people I might add)

I'm going to make this a goal, that from now on, I will make my gifts more sentimental and meaningful than in years past.

The true meaning of Christmas isn't about gifts, or money, or things... it's about people, and love, and family. I hope I can remember that.

1950's T.V family

Today I finally made it home for the Holidays, we rolled into town around 12 pm. It is so good to be back home.
I just wanted to post really quickly about some cute things that happened to me today.


So let me set the scene for you; my Grandparents are over for Christmas Eve dinner, every one is getting ready to go read the famous Christmas story, sing some songs, and open our pj's.
Before anyone came in the front room Jacob, my 11 year old brother pulls me in, sits me right next to him on the couch, and insists that I sit right next to him. He gets this really serious look on his face and says "Shaela, we never just talk. So... lets talk. Do you like me?"
It was so stinking cute! Shortly after that he got distracted and ran around the room for a few more minutes till every one else came in the room.
Jacob is seriously the cutes little 11 year old I know. When I lived with my parents I would always read him bed time stories, and we would pray together each night. I really miss that. But it's fun to see him growing up into a great kid!

My dad was all goofy today at the store where we met my parents when we got into town. I was looking around for my mom, and I see my dad and he's hiding around a corner, then I see him spring out at my mom and sister just laughing like a 4 year old. It was so funny. For any of you who know my dad you know he's usually very reserved in public, and melo. So this came as a pleasant surprize to see him just let loose and be goofy!

I just love my family.

Also, Amber my 22 year old sister told me a couple of funny things today:
1) We have so much fun and laugh all the time, so Amber said "Shae, when we get older and our husbands die, we HAVE to live together. We just have so much fun, and laugh at each others jokes all the time!" I'm paraphrasing, but it was probably the funniest thing I've heard all month!
2)We were talking about chickens and how funny they walk, and Amber bursts out and says "Chickens look so retarded when they walk, it's no wonder we eat them!!"


Oh man, my family is so funny!

Life is good!

I feel the need to thank my Heavenly Father for everything in my life. I am blessed with so many graces that help me in ways that I don't even know where to begin.

1)My room mates Emily and Kelsie are amazing girls and wonderful examples to me. They make life at home so much fun! I didn't have that last year, and it's nice to feel like I'm part of a family unit again while away from home.

2)The ward I am in is amazing! Yet another thing I didn't have last year. I distanced myself from them a lot last year because I didn't want to get connected to things too much and then have to move. I pushed people away from me intentionally so that I wouldn't have to deal with the loss of yet more friends. This year I decided to make sure that I didn't do that again. I may not know all these people my whole life, but I sure as heck will have fun with them while I can. I am not going to let fear of loss get in my way of living life.

3)I finally have someone in my life that I am a little bit interested in. Someone who I can have hope of future events with. That's all I'm going to say because it's still very very very new to me and far away from becoming anything. But lets just say I'm getting the vibe that he's feeling it too. :)

4)My parents are amazing people and I love them so much! They have faith in me even when I fall short sometimes. Sometimes I feel bad for being a disappointment to them over some things, but I know that I'm a good person and I try to do what's right. That's all because of them. They are great examples in my life of faith in God and reliance on his grace. Sometimes I struggle with that, I feel like I have to do everything on my own, and I forget to let the Lord help me.

5)The love that I feel from my Savior every day of my life. Even when it's epic fail #84, He still loves me and wants me to come back home to Him. I can't wait for that day, but I know I must.

I didn't mean for this to be all sentimental, but there you go.

I meant to say how completely awful I did on my Stats final. But luckily I have more to be happy for than to be upset about.

Beautiful to Him

It's been a while since a boy made me feel insecure about my weight...Maybe this is why it caught me off guard tonight when a complete stranger made me feel lower than I have in a long time.

So I'm driving to a movie with my friend as she was trying to give her brother directions to meet us there. She needed to give him something he left at home over the weekend. Then she suddenly puts him on speaker phone (I'm not exactly sure why she did, but the point is that I could hear everything he was saying) So he catches on to the fact that she's with someone, and asks who it is. She replied with a simple, "Oh that's Shaela, one of the girls I went to that Hotel Party with last week, remember? I showed you pictures.." and he responds "Oh the chunker?"

Yep, the chunker. It's kind of funny though because earlier today, a co worker told me that I look like I've lost weight, so I wasn't expecting that to happen.

I don't know why I let that get to me. In that moment I just brushed it off, but during the movie, I shed a few tears thinking about it. But I'm not going to let some punk from Illinois tell me that I'm not good enough. I don't want to be attractive to that kind of guy anyway. I'm sure he has a good heart and all that crap we're supposed to say about people we don't really know, But he's shallower that my bathroom sink, and I could care less if he doesn't find me attractive.

Look, I don't know if anyone even reads this blog, I'm sure no one has much of a reason to. But I just wanted to make this known maybe to myself more than anyone...I AM A BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTER OF GOD, AND HE LOVES ME!

I don't need to be a size 4 in order to be loved, plenty of people in this world aren't and they are perfectly happy. I realize that I am curvey, maybe even fat in some peoples eyes, But not in Gods eyes. He thinks that I am beautiful, and that's all I want to be, is Beautiful to Him.

Hiking

Today was kind of an epic day. Not necessarily in a good way, but epic nonetheless.

I went on a hike with my hiking class and it started off really well. I was able to keep up with my class and it wasn't very difficult. About a mile and a half into the hike I started getting really tired and not being able to breath very well. Then my insecurities started to take over my mind and I started to tell myself that I can't do this. Shortly thereafter I had a harder time breathing. Then dizziness set in. After that, I started crying because I was so embarrassed that I couldn't keep up with the rest of my group. Then I couldn't regulate my breathing any more. I finally stopped for a while and took a break. My teacher sopped and was there with me and told me it's okay, that they are going kind of fast and it's okay if I can't keep up. That I was doing the right thing and stopping before I couldn't handle it. That it's better to stop, catch my breath and move on. I basically had a freaking panic attack! During those ten minutes that I was sitting there with my teacher in the back of the line I had a kind of Epiphany.

My life is like a hike. As corny as that sounds, it's true. I spend so much time telling myself that I can't do things, and then it stops me from doing what I want/ need to do.

I start the hike thinking that it's going to be okay and I can make it.

Then half way through the hike I start getting tired. I start getting sick of hiking and want to stop now! Shortly after that I start getting really negative and telling myself that I won't be able to finish the hike. Then I have a hard time finishing it out.

I feel like that relates so my spirituality too. I am never good enough. I feel like I am always one step behind the people around me. Usually people tell me that I'm a good person and stuff like that but at times I don't really know about that.

I guess I'm just doomed to being one step less than others around me.

I doubt anyone reads this, but I just need to say it.

bringing home baby!

My sister just had a baby!

She is so amazing and I'm way proud of her for going through a 28 hour labor to bring this special soul into our lives! He was 8 lbs 5 oz, and 22 inches long! As you can tell he has a full head of brown hair.

I am so excited to see him next weekend! And hold him and be his favorite aunt! I will spoil the crap out of that kid every chance I get.

I love Amber and Mike so much! They will be awesome parents to this special soul :) and many more to come!

computadora!!!

I got a new computer!!! I can finally do the things that I have been wanting to do ie facebook, my homework, and blogging :)

I'm taking a spanish class, water aerobics, hiking and Statistics. My water aerobics class is amazing! I really love it!

My hiking class is going to kick my butt!! But i love it! This is my semester to work on me.

I am working on my spirituality, and my physical health. It's really awesome. I'm reading 'Believing Christ'. It's awesome! I really love it!

Move out day

Today was my official last day in Orem, and I sort of had a melt down. I will miss my room mates, and all the familiarity of Orem and Provo.

I love all the friends that i have made this summer and am sad to leave them all behind. But I know that there are some amazing experiences coming my way in the future.

Logan is farther away from my parents house so maybe I'll get used to it much faster because I won't go home as much.

I have a job all set up at Ross, so I don't have to worry about that, but i freaked out over the fact that I loved this summer. I have made some amazing friends and am sad to see my life in Orem end. But I have to have faith in the Lord that this is truly for my benefit.

I'm going to be at my sister and brother's house this week and then its off to Logan on the 27t.

Amber is due in a couple weeks, maybe 3 if she's lucky. She's having a baby boy and will most likely name him William Theodore Calge.

I'm so excited to be an Aunt, and can't wait to spoil him rotten :)

Movin to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches

I am officially moving to Logan in the fall! I am so excited and can't wait. I'm rooming with my friends Kami Stephenson and Emily Houston. It's going to be so much fun. I wasn't planning on this at all, i was going to be a nanny and move away from utah for a while. Then my friend Kami texted me a few weeks ago asking if i wanted to transfer to utah state with her and be room mates. I said "Sure! why not?" so now we are moving there and its going to be a blast! We went up that weekend and got an apartment, and I asked Emily to room with us. It's going to be so much fun!
I need a change and I think that Logan will provide that change for me. My best friend lives there, and my cousin also. It will be great to live in a new city, new school, and i love the Logan Temple. When I went up last October, I knew instantly that i wanted to be married there. And now, going to school there will give me a reason to. As silly as that may sound, it's true.
As for right now, i'm not even sure what i'm going next week. I hope to have a new job, but i'm not sure how that will work, I applied for a call center job, but I have a feeling I might not get it.
Life goes on, i'll just work at RDFL (ross dress for less) full time and not make enough to get a car, but oh well.